Sometimes I irritate him ... It wasn't his fault … I must have provoked him...

As a man, the last thing I want to hear about is a woman being abused. But if you know a girl who is stuck in an abusive relationship, then you may have heard these excuses before.

I thought abusive relationships were for old-fashioned people, not educated young men and women in their early twenties. I was wrong.

My friend is a law student. But that doesn’t protect her from regular beatings from her boyfriend.

He controls where she goes, checks up on when she contacts her friends and sometimes tries to isolate her from her family. He even comments on the way she dresses.

This is not how a man should behave. But she blames herself for the abuse.

What is more shocking to me than the fact that she has not left him ...is the fact that she sees nothing wrong with his behaviour.

I keep telling her to leave this man. But I know she must get to that decision on her own. My greatest hope is that she wakes up before it's too late.

Abusive relationships affect the victim physically and emotionally. Sometimes the victim forgets there are other choices – like leaving. The abused person often clings to the abuser because the abuse itself fills the victim with low self-esteem. Fear of more abuse if they leave can prevent a victim from even trying to leave.

If you know somebody in this situation, or if this person is you, then you may need help to get out. Talk to an adult you can trust, such as a teacher or a parent.