All the shebeens I walk past on the way back to the party are packed with people: children, teenagers, parents and grandparents. I feel a bit drunk already. The booze is flowing like a river. Everybody's shouting instead of talking, and laughter turns to argument in a flash. I weave my way around all sorts: children playing in the potholed streets; grown men with sour breath fighting; young woman smiling or crying.

I get back to the party and get myself a drink straight away. I'm feeling braver and I'm going to make sure it stays that way. I'm gonna have a good time.

"We went to the coolest party last night," I hear Lindi telling a crowd of friends. "It had the hottest DJ on the decks."

I clutch the bottle of Hunters with both hands and down it like it's medicine. My stomach glows warm. For a moment I almost feel happy. I get myself another drink.

I feel my hips start to sway in time to the music. It feels good. One more drink and then maybe I'll just walk over and dance with the cool, popular girls Lindi and Kim. Soon we'll all be friends and then we'll be talking about DJs we saw play the night before all the time. I down a spirit cooler.

I lean against the bar. Trying to look like I'm fine standing there all on my own, without a crowd of people who want to talk to me, or a boyfriend who wants to kiss me like I'm the hottest babe on earth. Hoping nobody will notice that I'm a nobody.

And then I notice that he's here – and he's smiling at me. My head is buzzing with booze and I'm smiling back. My thoughts are slow but clear. I decide, It's Time To Live This Day. So I get up, walk over, take his hand and lead him outside.

Baby is taking the lead. But is she in control? She may be letting her emotions and the alcohol decide for her. Is she about to fall flat on her face?